Here’s a neat bar trick. The bet: swap the contents of two shot glasses (one whiskey, the other water) using only a playing card. Watch the video to learn how.

It’s a dream that we all share. One day you’ll open a tiny bar and offer the locals quality service and fine spirits. You know, if you weren’t so lazy and could pony up the cash.

So what’s really required to gain a liquor license? Piazza Italian Market in Maryland chronicled the hoops that they had to jump, and this is just a partial list:

• Two complete sets of fingerprint cards. One set for the state of Maryland, and the other set for the FBI.
• Signatures from at least ten people approving our intention to sell alcoholic beverages. Each person must own property in and vote in the same District and Precinct as the location of the store.
• Certificate from Town Office of Planning and Zoning confirming that you are not within 1000 feet of a church, a school or a park.
• Business License, Trader’s License, Health Department Permit, & Fire Marshall Permit.
• $156.00 fee for advertising your application in the newspaper, as well as a $2,000.00 annual fee.

You can read the full list of Maryland’s liquor license requirements from Piazza Italian Market’s blog. It’s quite an eye-opener. I guess I should burn my pretend blueprints now and just settle for drinking at home.

Due to tough economic times, Google updated their AdWords policies to allow ads for hard liquor. You may have heard that Google allowed beer ads earlier this year, but since we’re all getting soused with a bottle these days, the company collective threw their arms up in the air and said, “Fuck it.” As it turns out, alcohol companies spend an estimated two billion dollars on advertising every year. Google stated that ads that directly promote the sale of hard alcohol and liqueurs are still not permissible, but they will accept ads promoting drink recipes, cocktail bars, New Orleans brothels, free clinics, flaming shots, and burn wards.

“Hey! You’ve got your boob in my scotch…”

While it’s certainly not blues guitarist Bob Log III’s finest song, Boob Scotch is one of the few that applies to this site. When Bob and his one-man-band perform Boob Scotch live, he invites women on stage to dip their boob in his drink. I’m sure Bob’s gimmick has been a success in the past, but the only boob that participated at the Atlanta show I attended was a man boob, which was still rater amusing.

Click the screen cap below to watch the Boob Scotch music video. It probably goes without saying, but it’s NSFW.

There’s not much of a story as to why I chose Jack Daniels Single Barrel. I suppose I had been eying it for a while, and the selection of bourbons at Green’s that I haven’t tried are few and far between. I’m sort of indifferent to regular ol’ Jack Daniels, so I’m hoping this single barrel will win me over.

I should also point out that the side of the bottle has a genuine Sharpie autograph that reads “Jim Bedford, Distiller, 2007.” Nice touch! Also, I love the metal chain necklace on the bottle. It’s thug for life.

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A man sits at a bar and orders two whiskeys. The bartender serves him the two whiskeys. The man drinks one whiskey and pours the second all over his hand. The bartende’s curiosity gets the better of him and he asks the man why he wasted the booze. The man replies: “I have to get my date drunk.”

The Discovery Channel website has an excellent video from the program How Stuff Works that documents Jack Daniels’ process of turning yellow corn into whiskey. Snuggle in at your desk and watch the video.

From The Onion:

New Texas Legislation Would Require Whiskey Bottles To Be Shot Out Of Air Immediately After Being Emptied

AUSTIN, TX—A new piece of legislation proposed yesterday on the floor of the Texas Legislature would require that all whiskey bottles be tossed overhead and shot clean out of the air the moment they are emptied. “Every Texan is responsible for disposing of his or her whiskey bottles in the proper fashion,” Plano lawmaker Mitch Travelstead said. “By law, this means no longer stopping to wipe your lips with your shirt sleeve, or howling like some rabid dog at that big yellow moon. It’s time we got serious.” While the new law will likely be strictly enforced, legislators maintained that those without access to firearms could also dispose of their whiskey bottles by having their children toss them off the back of a speeding pickup truck, or by depositing them into the nearest recycling bin.

When will people learn? I hope never. You can find Volume I here.

It doesn’t appear to be significantly aged, but Blanton’s boasts that “the finest bourbon in the world comes from a single barrel.” Great. All my wife cares about is that Blanton’s cork/bottle top is a metal horsey. Yes, this is another bottle chosen by Patti based on looks. It’s a selection process that has been successful in the past, so why mess with a good thing? Plus, this was the last bottle of Blanton’s on the shelf, and I was afraid that this would be my last chance to experience the best that Rick #39 had to offer (see notes below).

The bottle looks a bit like a large grenade. It’s round and octagonal. The metal horsey would make an excellent Monopoly piece.

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